it's not simply because it's highschool

Fate is such a funny thing... If this had gone my way, or if that had gone differently then where would I be now? I could have missed happiness by a matter of a few seconds. By " seconds", I mean that if I had stopped to think and consider the possibilities and consequences before I rashly jumped into the game. I would have ended sacrificing much more than I would have gained.

I always used to bash my head into the wall mentally as I lamented my past mistakes and my shouldacouldawouldas. I used to so strongly believe that there was no such thing as fate and it was because you did something wrong that your life was messed up beyond repair. I never used to believe in fate until the world stopped spinning just enough to let me think about my past. But now that the chaos has settled down-- found my niche, found my true friends, got into college... I've actually had time to think about how maybe all those bad times happened for a reason besides simply that "it's highschool".

All my friends at the benches wouldn't even know me if I hadn't taken air riflery and if I hadn't had that silly crush on this one guy. I would never have met one of my best friends if I had never wandered to that horrid bird-poop encrusted freshman tree as a sophomore, in search of getting to know the guy better.

I would have stayed in that secluded little place called "the cove". I would have been completely dependent on that one group of people. I would never have had that much fun in marching band without the people at the benches. I would never have learned to become more independent if it weren't for them. I would never have learned how to catch the bus on my own if it weren't for them. I would never have met my boyfriend who loves me despite how weird I am.

Life has a funny way of working itself out.