Heh. So I got bored of euro homework. I say we should leave history to the experts and fanatics. It's not like I'm gonna use any of this European history mumbo-jumbo anyway unless it's for yelling out the answer while I sit on the couch and watch Jeporady.
Kawaii Kon is today through Sunday... I'm not going, haha. I consider myself an otaku (anime fan) but I have to say... Kawaii Kon really sucked last year. There was maybe one good cosplayer (the guy who did Cloud) but other than that... Meh.
The popularity of anime has increased a lot since when I first got into it back in what... 3rd grade? But it's still in a baby phase compared to other places. Last year was the first convention and it seriously lacked. I guess it was partially because Hawaii is small, so our buildings are small (it was in the Ala Moana hotel last year). This year it's in the convention center though I think? Not sure. I never bothered to check. Last year we were all excited. ("Ohmygod! There's going to be an anime con this year! In Hawaii! Can you believe it?") At least I can say that I went to the first con in Hawaii... -__-;;
Kawaii Kon does kind of bring back memories... I must say-- They need to be more vigilant about security. My friend and I came kind of late last year. We didn't know what we were doing and accidentally (I swear) walked into the front part of the line (because there was a separation to allow a walkway) and cut infront of maybe 100+ people. Whoops? But no one stopped us to tell us that wasn't where the line started. And we didn't know. (Where was security when you need them, huh?) I guess I can laugh about it now, but I still kinda feel bad. I heard those people waited in line for 2 hours... o_0 (gomen, gomen.... >,<) But my friend and I... I feel we kinda have a connection because of this. We weren't super close then, and we're not very close now, but I feel like the event at Kawaii Kon will somehow keep us bonded?
Anyway, hopefully, the con will grow in the next 5 years or so. So when I come back to Hawaii after graduating from college, I can be proud to go to the con in my own state.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Lindsey Does A Little Victory Dance
After a fall-out with a friend, it's hard to get to talk again, don't you think?
That's why I'm so proud of myself. I'm usually the lazy ass procrastinator who somehow manages to get herself together at the very last minute. I lack initiave and I don't like people to be dissatisfied with me. I'm scared of people's dislike.
So we haven't talked in a while. I happened to find a good opportunity to strike up a conversation this morning while I was walking back from community service this morning. They had apparently worked at the same place last quarter so I figured hey, why not ask how their experience was? It was worth a shot, right?
But it was scary. Humans are silly. We're all so sensitive and afraid to do things unless we know there's a pretty high success rate. And even if it's 99.99999% sure, some of us still have doubts. But I guess it's good that we don't go around saying and doing whatever the hell we please, because I guess we can't really help that sensitivity is somewhat of a human nature.
I walked past my old hangout place. That person was there. I contemplated walking back, but I figured that would look weird. Funny how we care if something looks strange to others. So I spent much time planning out how I should go about this. 2 things surprised me: that I actually was a dork enough to plan it out like that and also that I'd do that just so I wouldn't look stupid when I ran out of things to say. Never once did I think that it didn't matter; that what happened, happened. No. It had to work and I had to do everything within my power to make it work. Why is that? Maybe I'm a little late, but it's only just occured to me how strange human interactions are...
So when I got home, that person was online too. Again, I laid out the situation and adjusted my plans. And again, I never questioned why I was doing it. I decided that I would wait till just before I signed off. Good way to bail out in case of emergency, right? Listening to myself now, hearing what my thought process was kind of scares me. Maybe "scares" isn't quite the word I was looking for. "Shocks"? Nah, maybe "scares" is fine. It also scared(?) me how scared I was to take that first step. You can't really "take back" an IM, so I guess that's what was the scariest part. I like re-do's. But this time, I couldn't just half-ass it-- I had to throw myself blindly, head-first. No one likes doing that, I know. But hey, I did it. The conversation didn't go very far, but the important point is that I took initiative for once. If I let my mom know about my social affairs (which I hardly do) then she'd probably be proud.
Sometimes, I guess, you just have to be thick-skinned and go for it.
That's why I'm so proud of myself. I'm usually the lazy ass procrastinator who somehow manages to get herself together at the very last minute. I lack initiave and I don't like people to be dissatisfied with me. I'm scared of people's dislike.
So we haven't talked in a while. I happened to find a good opportunity to strike up a conversation this morning while I was walking back from community service this morning. They had apparently worked at the same place last quarter so I figured hey, why not ask how their experience was? It was worth a shot, right?
But it was scary. Humans are silly. We're all so sensitive and afraid to do things unless we know there's a pretty high success rate. And even if it's 99.99999% sure, some of us still have doubts. But I guess it's good that we don't go around saying and doing whatever the hell we please, because I guess we can't really help that sensitivity is somewhat of a human nature.
I walked past my old hangout place. That person was there. I contemplated walking back, but I figured that would look weird. Funny how we care if something looks strange to others. So I spent much time planning out how I should go about this. 2 things surprised me: that I actually was a dork enough to plan it out like that and also that I'd do that just so I wouldn't look stupid when I ran out of things to say. Never once did I think that it didn't matter; that what happened, happened. No. It had to work and I had to do everything within my power to make it work. Why is that? Maybe I'm a little late, but it's only just occured to me how strange human interactions are...
So when I got home, that person was online too. Again, I laid out the situation and adjusted my plans. And again, I never questioned why I was doing it. I decided that I would wait till just before I signed off. Good way to bail out in case of emergency, right? Listening to myself now, hearing what my thought process was kind of scares me. Maybe "scares" isn't quite the word I was looking for. "Shocks"? Nah, maybe "scares" is fine. It also scared(?) me how scared I was to take that first step. You can't really "take back" an IM, so I guess that's what was the scariest part. I like re-do's. But this time, I couldn't just half-ass it-- I had to throw myself blindly, head-first. No one likes doing that, I know. But hey, I did it. The conversation didn't go very far, but the important point is that I took initiative for once. If I let my mom know about my social affairs (which I hardly do) then she'd probably be proud.
Sometimes, I guess, you just have to be thick-skinned and go for it.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
A Month's Worth of Prep for One Day
Since Prom is in 3 days... it just got me thinking. While he spent about $75 on a tux, we females in addition to getting the very basic -a dress- usually get their hair and make-up done, and maybe throw in the cost for some jewelry too.
I never really thought about the cost until my mom started bugging me. She wanted me to set an appointment for hair, make-up and the like, pestering me to find out what I could do with my short hair. Personally, I wasn't going to do anything with my hair (and I'm still not) and I was planning to do my own make-up, but she finally managed to convince me to find a place that would do my make-up. She was also very involved with my selection of a necklace and she even prodded me to get a bracelet. She told me that Prom was the one time you could be "oshare" (flashy) so I shouldn't pick the dainty, thin bracelet, but rather the thick rhinestone covered one. I thought, "Geez mother, who's Prom is this anyway?" I don't know how much other girls have spent on their Prom, but so far, my Prom bill is totaled at a little less than $200. And I think I might be on the slightly-less-than-average side in terms of cost.
Why don't guys have all this extra stuff they have to deal with? I'll bet that no guy who will be there on Saturday will have had to get their hair done. The most they'd do would be to run a comb through it and maybe squirt some gel in it. A girl's preperation time could be hours, while the guy spends maybe half an hour. If a guy were to spend a really long time getting ready and "primping" himself, he'd be rediculed and called "fem" or something to that effect.
Why do girls go through all that trouble to look good? I think it's such a pain in the ass! My mom practically forced me to get an appointment and then when she finally pestered me enough to give in, she yelled at me for "waiting till the last minute". Maybe I'm just bitter because of that, but I think it's all been one big hassle. It was exciting, but it was still a hassle. I'm pretty sure I'll have fun on Saturday, but still... it was a hassle...
grr.
I never really thought about the cost until my mom started bugging me. She wanted me to set an appointment for hair, make-up and the like, pestering me to find out what I could do with my short hair. Personally, I wasn't going to do anything with my hair (and I'm still not) and I was planning to do my own make-up, but she finally managed to convince me to find a place that would do my make-up. She was also very involved with my selection of a necklace and she even prodded me to get a bracelet. She told me that Prom was the one time you could be "oshare" (flashy) so I shouldn't pick the dainty, thin bracelet, but rather the thick rhinestone covered one. I thought, "Geez mother, who's Prom is this anyway?" I don't know how much other girls have spent on their Prom, but so far, my Prom bill is totaled at a little less than $200. And I think I might be on the slightly-less-than-average side in terms of cost.
Why don't guys have all this extra stuff they have to deal with? I'll bet that no guy who will be there on Saturday will have had to get their hair done. The most they'd do would be to run a comb through it and maybe squirt some gel in it. A girl's preperation time could be hours, while the guy spends maybe half an hour. If a guy were to spend a really long time getting ready and "primping" himself, he'd be rediculed and called "fem" or something to that effect.
Why do girls go through all that trouble to look good? I think it's such a pain in the ass! My mom practically forced me to get an appointment and then when she finally pestered me enough to give in, she yelled at me for "waiting till the last minute". Maybe I'm just bitter because of that, but I think it's all been one big hassle. It was exciting, but it was still a hassle. I'm pretty sure I'll have fun on Saturday, but still... it was a hassle...
grr.
Monday, April 23, 2007
we are the nameless ones...
I don't think we have a name. I've heard a few though. There's "the ex-rocks group" (because we used to be by the rocks at the science center). Sometimes we just say something like "let's go to Alexander", although I think that's kind of boring to be classified by the name of a building, but hey that's all we got.
When we're actually there, sitting inside the plot of concrete, it seems pretty spacious. Even though we have so many people there, everyone and their stuff can fit. There are occasions when there's extra stuff needed to be stored in that small area because of band concerts and such. There are a lot of big instruments and concert clothes crammed into a corner and it almost feels claustrophobic having to sit with a bunch of instruments towering over you as you sit and try to eat lunch.
Usually, there are people playing their PSP's (although now, with the release of the new Pokemon, a bunch of them have whipped out their DS's). The rest of us either talk, do homework, or maybe play cards. I think it's kind of funny how there are so many of us, yet it's actually pretty quiet most of the time. I mean, there are occasions where it can get loud, but it's really not that bad. You'd be surprised.
It's kind of seperated though. Generally we're all on good terms with each other, but I can see two distinct groups withing the group as a whole. There's one side, the one I'm on (we like to play games and be loud) and there's the other side (who are the more studious, quiet ones). Ironically, there isn't as much tension between the two groups, but rather there are tensions within our side. I call them dysfunctional. I'm pretty normal compared to them actually. We can't go on an outing without at least one person getting mad or sometimes even going home in tears. I know I've gone home pissed at people a couple of times, but I guess that's just high school....
When we're actually there, sitting inside the plot of concrete, it seems pretty spacious. Even though we have so many people there, everyone and their stuff can fit. There are occasions when there's extra stuff needed to be stored in that small area because of band concerts and such. There are a lot of big instruments and concert clothes crammed into a corner and it almost feels claustrophobic having to sit with a bunch of instruments towering over you as you sit and try to eat lunch.
Usually, there are people playing their PSP's (although now, with the release of the new Pokemon, a bunch of them have whipped out their DS's). The rest of us either talk, do homework, or maybe play cards. I think it's kind of funny how there are so many of us, yet it's actually pretty quiet most of the time. I mean, there are occasions where it can get loud, but it's really not that bad. You'd be surprised.
It's kind of seperated though. Generally we're all on good terms with each other, but I can see two distinct groups withing the group as a whole. There's one side, the one I'm on (we like to play games and be loud) and there's the other side (who are the more studious, quiet ones). Ironically, there isn't as much tension between the two groups, but rather there are tensions within our side. I call them dysfunctional. I'm pretty normal compared to them actually. We can't go on an outing without at least one person getting mad or sometimes even going home in tears. I know I've gone home pissed at people a couple of times, but I guess that's just high school....
Sunday, April 15, 2007
a song just for me? ha ha.
Every time I find a song with lyrics that I can relate to I think, "Wow, that song is exactly what I'm feeling!" and I'm amazed at how the words seem to match. It's almost as if the song was written for me!
But really. Thinking that kind of seems egotistical. There must be hundreds of thousands of songs out there. There's bound to be at least one song that has lyrics that fit how you're feeling. It's not really all that special if you think about it.
Plus, there's millions of people out there, who have similar problems to you. Someone's gotta write at least one song about it. We all think we're the only ones going through dilemmas and other difficulties, but we're not really all that special in the whole scheme of things.
But really. Thinking that kind of seems egotistical. There must be hundreds of thousands of songs out there. There's bound to be at least one song that has lyrics that fit how you're feeling. It's not really all that special if you think about it.
Plus, there's millions of people out there, who have similar problems to you. Someone's gotta write at least one song about it. We all think we're the only ones going through dilemmas and other difficulties, but we're not really all that special in the whole scheme of things.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I was wondering... if people could actually remember you in the after-life. If there is one at all, I mean. Then, I thought about the people who found someone else after their spouse died young and then remarried. Wouldn't that kind of suck for the spouse who left before? The other half would eventually die too and maybe that person might meet up with the one who passed away first and be like "Sorry, I love ____ now. We've gone through so much together". If that happened to me, I'd be like "Wow, this sucks. I waited for nothing". Ohhh... unless the deceased can see the living. Then they would've known earlier. I guess they can, right? That's why people see ghosts; because they're still attached to this world. Or something like that.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
trapped in the subconscious (or is it unconscious?)
Sleep paralysis. It's quite scary, even if you know that it's not anything supernatural. I always thought I was hearing ghosts when this has happened to me. I'm just lying down, trying to get some sleep for the next tiring day and I'm almost on the brink of sleep but all of a sudden, I find myself not being able to move. What's funny is I'm totally conscious and I can see my surroundings in the dark. Or at least I think I'm conscious, I guess I can't be sure since I was half-asleep just a moment ago.
Then I start to hear voices. Sometimes, I can pick out conversations and sometimes, I can only hear distant voices yelling at each other. The scariest time was when I heard a woman's voice yelling quite loudly to someone. I got this feeling like I was about to witness a murder and I even feared for my own safety, being so "near" to this violent-sounding quarel.
Sometimes I wonder if you could suffocate from sleep paralysis. I find that in addition to my movement being restricted, I usually can't breathe too. But I've found ways to get myself back into reality, although it's kind of hard. It kind of reminds me of in Kill Bill where after Uma Thurman's character gets from the coma and tries to get her toes to move again. She had to tell her toe to move. I have to tell myself "get up" about 5 times before I feel like I snapped out of a dream that looks exactly like reality.
Sleep paralysis: frightening, yet somehow oddly exhilarating.
Then I start to hear voices. Sometimes, I can pick out conversations and sometimes, I can only hear distant voices yelling at each other. The scariest time was when I heard a woman's voice yelling quite loudly to someone. I got this feeling like I was about to witness a murder and I even feared for my own safety, being so "near" to this violent-sounding quarel.
Sometimes I wonder if you could suffocate from sleep paralysis. I find that in addition to my movement being restricted, I usually can't breathe too. But I've found ways to get myself back into reality, although it's kind of hard. It kind of reminds me of in Kill Bill where after Uma Thurman's character gets from the coma and tries to get her toes to move again. She had to tell her toe to move. I have to tell myself "get up" about 5 times before I feel like I snapped out of a dream that looks exactly like reality.
Sleep paralysis: frightening, yet somehow oddly exhilarating.
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