saying goodbye to perfection

nine days left. isn't that a ridiculously small number? in a month, i'll be saying goodbye to my home of 13 years.
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"if you could only remember one time (we shared together) what would it be?" he asked me.

i approached the question by immediately playing back all the times that stood out the most in my head and trying to decide which one i liked the best. could it be the day he asked me out? or how about that thursday? or what about the time we skipped air rifle practice? oh, and i cant forget about the rose bowl trip...

but i couldn't decide which time i wouldn't be able to sacrifice. i just couldn't decide which would be the one i just wouldn't be able to part with...

but then it hit me.

i really didn't need those other times. sure, they were nice, memorable, and special, but to me... it'd be the simplest times that i'd want to keep forever. we all remember the time when so-and-so did this hilarious thing or when something out-of-the-ordinary ridiculously awesome thing happened. many of us will remember how we almost took states for football last year, cus we cheered so loud and the band played their hearts out. but it's really the everyday things that will mean the most. we'll only be able to remember maybe half of all those exciting times and it'll be the ordinary days that will always remain dear to us.

for some reason, the realization made me feel immensely sad. partially because after high school, we'll never be like that again. i'll never get to sit with him so carefreely under the little overhang by alexander. there will be other people who will hang out there after we're all gone. i'll never be able to lie down on the stones and lazily look out towards the trees, the clouds, the sky like how i do now...

those are the kind of times i'll miss the most. sure, the future is bound to be full of surprises, good times and the like, but that just wont be the same. now comes the fork in the road and we will all go our seperate ways. thank you to all who have made an impression on me, left their mark-- good or bad-- because as cliche as it all may sound, it's shaped me into who i am today.

even though i want this to never change, i know that time will pass and we'll be different no matter how hard i can try. just thinking about how i can't make this perfection last forever makes the lump form in my throat. i hope in the future i'll never forget why i cry over these things now... i hope i'll never forget the importance and the beauty of this carefree innocence of my of high school days......